Divorce & Discovery: A Jewish Healing Retreat

A long weekend of immersive Jewish healing, community building and self-discovery in the stunning beauty of the Sierra Mountains. Traverse one of life’s great challenges with the support and guidance of Jewish ritual, wisdom and community.

Plus, experience all that Tawonga has to offer: campfires, song sessions, Shabbat, boating on the lake, river and pool dips, arts and crafts, the challenge course, yoga, stargazing and delicious food!

When

Thursday, October 27 – Sunday, October 30, 2022

Who

Anyone who has ever navigated the multi-faceted challenges of divorce or the end of a long-term relationships. Adults of all ages welcome.

Why?

Judaism gets many milestones right – birth, marriage, death – with prayers and traditional customs to honor life’s rites of passages. But when it comes to divorce, Jewish tradition historically only offers a Get (a divorce contract). This retreat seeks to fill that void by helping people who may feel broken or in pain after the ending of a long-term relationships find their way back to wholeness – guided by Jewish healing rituals, communal support and professional expertise. We hope that by joining us, you will be able to take steps on the path back to wholeness.

Divorce & Discovery Program Overview

Visioned and founded by Rabbi Deborah Newbrun (renowned former Tawonga Camp Director and Covenant Award Recipient), every aspect of Divorce & Discovery intentionally leads you on a journey to let go of hurt, anger, guilt and resentment within a supportive Jewish community.  (Read more about the retreat’s origin below under “A Closer Look.”)

Divorce & Discovery Program Highlights

Havurah: Your Retreat Friends

Attending an adult retreat can feel intimidating. All participants will be assigned to a Havurah Group … think of this as your retreat friendship group. You will meet daily to have a chance to get to know one another in a small facilitated group, process the day’s activities, share experiences and serve as each other’s anchors while at camp.

Divorce Café

Your friends and family may be tired of talking about your divorce, and, furthermore, may not know how to support you. Divorce Café is an evening salon-style program for retreat participants to discuss topics of interest related to divorce and healing including managing finances, parenting through divorce and more. Participants will gain peer insights and support through the grief, bewilderment and loss associated with divorce.

Jewish Rituals for Healing from Divorce

Through the sacred act of Jewish ritual, we will honor, process and offer you a path to move through whatever stage of the divorce journey you are in:

  • Opening Up Morning is a time of great hope and opening. We will offer elective morning shacharit (Hebrew for “dawn”) services at our “Freedom Forest.”
  • CelebrationWe will celebrate Shabbat in community, reciting prayers, sharing a meal, dancing and singing. Later this evening, a musical Kabbalat Shabbat service will invite participants to feel the joy in Judaism.
  • Connectedness & Joy – We know that when we sing in community, we feel interconnected and joyful. On Saturday morning, we will gather for a Torah Service in Tawonga’s outdoor sanctuary amidst the trees called “Makom Shalom,” which means Place of Peace or Wholeness. Singing and praying together in this sacred space is often a moment of spiritual resonance for many Tawonga weekend participants.
  • Separate & Heal – Havdalah means separation. It is the ritual that distinguishes between the sacred time of Shabbat and the ordinary time of the rest of the week. We will use our Camp Havdalah ceremony to help people separate both Shabbat from the rest of the week, as well as their married selves from their non-married selves.
  • Ritual Mourning – Sitting Shiva is the Jewish way to mourn the death of a beloved. Those who are interested will have the opportunity to sit in community, in a facilitated circle, to mourn the death of their marriage.
  • Letting Go – Tashlich is the ritual associated with Rosh Hashanah of throwing bread crumbs in a body of water to symbolically release the things we want to let go. During the retreat, partake in this healing ritual as we throw small stones into the Tuolumne River and recite individual and communal prayers of letting go.
  • Cleanse, Release – A mikveh is a bath in which Jewish ritual purification is performed, the water has to be mayim chayim – living waters. During the retreat, participants will  have the option to partake in a mikveh in the waters of the Tuolumne, which are very much alive!

Professional experts and religious and spiritual leaders

Professional experts and religious and spiritual leaders will help you find a path back to wholeness. From rabbis, therapists and healers to divorce coaches, yoga instructors and challenge course facilitators, our team of guides is here to support you:

  • Rabbis and Jewish Educators – These spiritual leaders will be the backbone of the weekend’s Jewish learning and engagement. They will lead workshops, Jewish rituals and art-focused activities to help facilitate healing.
  • Therapists – Therapists (and our other staff leaders) will help facilitate the Havurah Groups and be available in the afternoons to check in with participants who sign up to meet with them.
  • Divorce Coaches To provide expert, empathic listening and suggestions for specific approaches and activities for people going through the early phases of divorce. Divorce coaches are helpful guides who can offer resources and information throughout the divorce process.
  • Massage Therapists – Two massage therapists will be at camp during the retreat offering hour-long massage sessions, for an additional fee. People going through divorce often have not experienced physical touch for a long time; body work can be both healing and comforting.
  • Photographer – Married folks have their spouses to photograph them; divorced folks may be experiencing this sense of loss. A staff photographer will be taking portraits of participants to celebrate and honor them.
  • Yoga & Challenge Course Instructors – Physical movement helps us to be in sync with our bodies and tap into newfound strength. Our yoga instructor will support participants to still the mind, feel grounded in the body and connected to the breath. Challenge Course facilitators will empower participants through overcoming physical and mental obstacles.

What Will Participants Take Away?

Participants will leave this retreat:

  • Feeling grounded in and supported by Jewish ritual and practice as a way to heal from the grief and pain of divorce. 
  • Rejuvenated by joyful experiences, both individual and communal. 
  • Equipped with the knowledge and tools to replicate Jewish rituals at home to continue the healing and recovery process.
  • With a community of peers to call on who are traversing a similar path. 
  • Feeling connected to the natural world and refreshed from unplugging from technology. 
  • Inspired and hopeful for what’s ahead.

General Retreat Highlights

Activities

In addition to specialized programming, we will offer all of our classic weekend program activities, including yoga, arts and crafts, the challenge course, hiking, campfires, boating on the lake, stargazing and more!

Shabbat

As a community, we will celebrate Shabbat with singing, dancing and a delicious Friday night dinner followed by participatory services in our beautiful outdoor sanctuary on Saturday morning.

Meals

Our Kitchen staff will cook up tasty and nutritious meals for participants, and all dietary restrictions can be accommodated. Free-flowing Peet’s coffee is available daily as well as a “late night” snack! Like all of our practices at Camp, food prep, serving and dining will follow public health protocols. (See “Health, Safety & COVID” section below for more.)

Housing

For this retreat, all participants will stay in our rustic cabins with electric outlets and a heater. These cabins are in very close proximity to a bathroom, and most participants will either have a room to themselves or share with only one other person. 

Location

Camp Tawonga’s beautiful 160-acre property is situated on the doorstep of Yosemite National Park, on the middle fork of the Tuolumne River. Our rustic, serene wilderness location offers authentic, immersive experiences in nature. Read more about Tawonga’s location and facilities here.

Cost

$650 | Covers all expenses of 4 day/3 night retreat, including professional, expert-led programming, lodging, meals, snacks, bar and coffee service and more.

Need-based financial Assistance is available (indicate interest in registration process). Learn more here

How to Register

Registration for Divorce & Discovery is open to the public! Sign up by clicking here. Note that this is a different registration link than for other Tawonga programs. When registering for this program, you will need to select “Adult/Family Application.”

Press Feature!

Listen to Divorce & Discovery founder Rabbi Deborah Newbrun share the vision and origin story of this retreat on the “Judaism Unbound” podcast.

FAQs: Divorce & Discovery Retreat

Do you have to be divorced to attend?

This retreat will support people who feel broken and in pain following a separation from a close romantic partner. You do not need to have been married to attend, nor do you need to have officially divorced. If you aren’t sure if the program is right for you, reach Rabbi Deborah Newbrun to discuss at deborah@tawonga.org.

Do you have to be Jewish to attend?

While you don’t have to be Jewish to attend, anyone who joins should have an open mind and an interest in Judaism. A major focus of the retreat will be engaging in Jewish rituals and practices as a way to process and heal from divorce. We expect all types of Jews and Jew adjacent folks to attend.

I am in the process of separating/getting a divorce. Can I still join?

If you have made the decision to no longer be with your life partner, and want to experience healing through Jewish ritual, then this is the right program for you. If you’re not sure, please contact Rabbi Deborah Newbrun at deborah@tawonga.org. She will be happy to discuss with you.

I got divorced many years ago. Can I still attend?

Yes. The pain and suffering caused by divorce can stay with us for a very long time. This retreat will still have much value for you, no matter how many years have passed since your divorce.

I’m not a huge wilderness person. Is this the right program for me?

You don’t have to be an avid camper to appreciate this retreat or Tawonga’s beautiful location on the Tuolumne River! Those who are interested will be able to partake in river dips, hikes and nature exploration throughout our 160-acre property.

I was in an LGBTQ relationship, will I be the only one with that identity?

We can’t be sure who will sign up, but Camp Tawonga is nationally known for our leadership in LGBTQ inclusion and celebration. We anticipate having LGBTQ as well as straight participants and welcome everyone.

I have a lot of questions about how the retreat will run.

Check out our general FAQs for weekend programs here. If you still have questions, a member of our team will be happy to support you. Reach us at 415.543.2267 or info@tawonga.org.

Can my ex come with me to this retreat?

Sorry, but no. We feel strongly that this retreat will better serve you if your ex is not present. If both you and your ex sign up, we will register whoever submits the application first. Hopefully, in future years, your ex can join.

Health, Safety & COVID

In order to prioritize the health and safety of our campers, staff and entire Tawonga community, all weekend program participants who will be eligible for the vaccine by the time their program begins are required to be fully vaccinated (including a booster shot, if eligible) against COVID-19, as are all Tawonga staff. We will have trusted and qualified medical staff on site as always. You can also click here for our COVID-19 FAQs.

A Closer Look at Divorce & Discovery

Rabbi Deborah Newbrun: Your Guide
Rabbi Deborah Newbrun is the founder and director of Divorce & Discovery: A Jewish Healing Retreat. To our knowledge, this is the first retreat of its kind in the country. 

Read More About Rabbi Deborah Newbrun

In the early 2000s (while serving as Tawonga’s Camp Director), as Deborah was going through a painful divorce from her wife, she lamented that Jewish ritual and Jewish leaders offered her family so little in the way of a roadmap or any real kind of support through this milestone. With her two boys only in grade school, she was left feeling abandoned by the Tradition and turned to secular healing experiences while attempting to traverse the disorienting and complex process of divorce. 

“In creating this retreat, I wanted to take the heartbreak I experienced 16 years ago during my divorce and turn it into something helpful for the Jewish community. We have created a loving program for folks traversing this challenging milestone, grounded in Jewish wisdom about separating, letting go, embracing life, feeling hopeful and finding a road map back to wholeness.”

During her rabbinic training, Deborah sought to address this gap in Jewish practice and devoted her entire rabbinic capstone project to the creation of a Divorce & Discovery Jewish Healing Retreat. The visioning, curricula development and retreat structure of this program have been vetted by rabbis, program experts and individuals who have experienced divorce. The result is a transformative, intentional Jewish communal experience rooted in over 40 years of program expertise and 3000 years of Jewish ritual. You can read Deborah’s bio here.

A Peek into Jewish Healing
Rabbi Akiva, one of our Talumdic Rabbis, teaches us that divorce is not a tragedy but a remedy for a marriage that has broken beyond repair. At Divorce & Discovery Jewish Healing Retreat, we will use prayer, Jewish text, ritual and communal practices to support participants on their journey to feeling whole again. Below are just two examples of applying Jewish practice and prayer toward the process of healing from divorce:

Letting Go & Releasing Anger

Tashlich is the ritual associated with Rosh Hashanah of throwing bread crumbs in a body of water to symbolically release the things we want to let go. During the retreat, partake in this healing ritual as we throw small stones into the Tuolumne River and recite individual and communal prayers. One we may recite together is this Prayer for Tashlich: “Lift my troubles off my shoulders. Help me to know that last year is over, washed away like crumbs in the current. Open my heart to blessing and gratitude.”

Processing Sadness & Struggle

Below is an example of a prayer that will be a part of our outdoor Shabbat morning Torah services

“Talking to God: Personal Prayers for Times of Joy, Sadness, Struggle and Celebration”
By: Rabbi Naomi Levy.

I am holding it all together on the outside, God, but inside my heart is crushed.
I never imagined the future without them.
I never imagined myself without them.
Help me, God.
Give me the courage to face the past and to learn from it.
Remind me to take the time to grieve for all that is no more.
I feel so alone
Be with me, God.
Teach me to believe that there is hope for me, that I will find love again.
Heal my heart, God.
Fill me with the strength to gather up all the broken pieces, and begin again.
Amen

Share with a Friend

Because this program is brand new, we’d love your help to spread the word! If you know someone who is feeling the heartbreak of divorce and could benefit from this retreat, please pass along the information. Thank you!

Questions?

Feel free to reach out to Deborah Newbrun with questions relating to the retreat at deborah@tawonga.org. For registration, housing, or other logistical questions, please reach info@tawonga.org or 415.543.2267. A member of our team will be happy to support you.

 

 

 

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